This last week I had a nice bit of overwhelming news. It was the lovely trifecta of announcements. One lady at work (who I found out by accident), one very close friend who is one of the best Moms I know, and a family member currently cooking up thier 10th!!!. All of these I found out about within 48 hours. Thankfully I did not have a full out breakdown but just a few tears.
The majority of my time has been spent working on my Thirty One business and learning to make pretty cakes. I found that having distractions is the best way for me to stay sane. However my husband had a talk with me the other night and wanted to know why I had not planned us a second IUI. My "excuse" is that we've been busy but after talking it out the truth just comes down to fear. Some days I feel strong enough knowing that is ok today that we do not have babies yet, there is still time. Other days I feel like its already too late and I should just figure out how to go on with life knowing we will never have them. For some reason it feels more daunting to have an one failed IUI behind us then it did before trying it. I know you can only do them so many times before moving on to IVF and for the love of all good-things holy that terrifies me. So after our talk we have decided to try again in November. It should be here before I know it.
Lindsay I am not sure where you live exactly, but there are some trials on IVF if finances are an issue. IF you were afraid of going ahead w/this due to cost (This is something my husband and I were considering had we not gotten pregnant on our own.) When you do the trials usually all you have to pay for is travel costs to wherever the site is located. I don't know if this helps or not. But my heart does go out to you and your hubby!
ReplyDeleteIn your first paragraph; are there 3 people expecting? If so who on earth in your family has nine kids?
ReplyDeleteI think the fear of moving forward/moving on/MOVING at all is common with inferitlity. I'm scared of having hope again.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I LOVE Thirty One!!! :)
I hope that no news is good news and you've been successful with your IUI or IVF. I work for a <a href="http://www.santamonicafertility.com/fertility-and-treatment-options/fertility-basics/medications.html>fertility clinic los angeles</a> and we see many sides of the emotional roller coaster. I hope yours is a happy side.
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