Do you judge the level of worthiness of those around you that get knocked up? Does it hurt more when you feel the would not be good parents? Or when their circumstances are not good?
I'm having a very hard time today controlling my anger and judgements.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
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I do this all too often. Hang in there. ***baby dust***
ReplyDeleteHonestly it's hard regardless. Although it is MUCH harder when you know they are going to be AWFUL parents...but I've had a couple friends who are AMAZING people and they (both the wife and husbands) will make INCREDIBLE parents - but then I get all angry because my husband and I will make awesome parents too - yet 2.5 years later, we're still not pregnant...
ReplyDeleteLike the PP said - hang in there.
Hugs. And Yes. In my job you see LOTS of people who should not be breeding full stop let alone having ANOTHER child but there they are with another on their hip and sending their child to school with little or no food and barely clothed. And yet the likes of you and I can't get pregnant. Its not fair at all!
ReplyDeleteDefinitily. Especially when they don't seem to even WANT to have a child. This one girl was checking us out at the grocery store... We used to work with her at McDonald's.... My husband asked her how she was doing. She said "I'm pregnant. Now you know." And she looked like she just shared an ashamed, horrible, secrete. It was like, go ahead and judge me, I know I messed up, clearly I didn't want this kid. And if I would have heard her words correctly while in the store...... There are so many things I wanted to tell her! Do you not want to have your child??? I would do anything to be pregnant like you are!! God has blessed you with a baby, if you don't want that blessing.... I'd be happy to adopt your child.
ReplyDeleteAnyways... It just breaks my heart to see these people out there that I deam unworthy of having a child in the first place, not even want the child they are having! That girl was fresh out of highschool (graduated early), was one of those girls who had booksmarts and that was it, she was a ditzy carefree blonde who hated that her parents wouldn't let her move out on her own yet. I think she was 17. Anyways... Her?? Why her God??? Why not me....
I have to tell you, even after pregnant these feelings don't go away because infertility runs deeper in our veins than we could ever imagine. I know how hard it is, and hope one day you get to see a healthy beating heartbeat on an ultrasound screen. Also, my husband had varicose veins in his testicles at a very young age (8th grade) so we went into ttc with knowing I had PCOS and he had a potential risk for an issue as well. Hope that as time goes on your hubby's swimmers continue to improve. My good friend after 3 years of ttc got pregnant, after her doctors told them they would need IUI to get pregnant due to his sperm quality/count. Just keep on keeping on, and find a place to keep hope alive. <3
ReplyDeleteYes, I hate to admit it, but I do this all the time. At Jess, Thank you for your post...it was encouraging!
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