Monday, July 30, 2012

Another month gone by

Sigh...August is pretty much here another half year in the TRC journey has flown by.

Tonight I sit here at CD 38, been spotting for days but no AF. No symptoms and knowing that it is just waiting until I go out of town Thursday. Even AF likes to kick me in the ass sometimes

Our story is still not complete. While watching my best friend's belly grow I sit at home circling the bills from our first, failed IUI. Ahh, failed what a great word huh? I'd unsuccessful better?no matter what you call money is due and all we for was stress and tears.

Today I used the phrase "If we have a baby" instead of when. It was so natural and just came out. My sweet dear friend quickly corrected me to say WHEN and I do love her for that. However I think it is safe to say that I have finally let IF into the picture. Before when life was less knowledgable saying IF was just crazy talk. It was uncalled for and eerie. Now I feel like it is reality.


  1. Ugh Hun I wish this wasn't how things were for you. I wish they weren't that way for me either! I force myself to say 'when not if as hard as it is because the option of not having babies isn't something I can deal with. I think of you often chick. Take care xx

  2. Hugs to you. I know it's hard for you to think WHEN, so I will think it for you. I hope things look up very soon.

  3. I alternate between "when" and "if" -- when it's a bad day I say "if we ever have a baby", when it's more of an optimistic day, I say "when we have a baby".... this up and down/push and pull is constant - and overwhelming.

    Sending happy thoughts your way.