Saturday, April 9, 2011

The Tragic Tale of POAS

CD 27 - 10 DPO

It is that time again - that almost to the end of that limbo place. That regardless of what the internet says maybe for me a test will be positive a few days before AF is due thinking. The time when the 'oh what will one little test hurt' thinking? Surely I am not alone in thinking that if I was knocked up the test would be positive a few days early anyways, right? Oh wait, that's not how it works? Then why do I continue to have that in my head each month.....

Step 1 - agonize over the FF chart multiple times to plan when a good time to test will be
Step 2 - completely ignore the rational through process used in previous step
Step 3 - take inventory of the tests you have in hand and determine how many you can spare for just one or maybe two early test days
Step 4 - go buy more because if your going to do two early tests, why not three?
Step 5 - look yourself in the mirror and say "You are strong, you do not need to test early!"
Step 6 - test early
Step 7 - stare at test strip the whole time it develops
Step 8 - watch the very fast negative result and with your awesome will power make it turn positive
Step 9 - acknowledge that your mind powers suck
Step 10 - throw away the test, sigh and continue on with your day
Step 11 - ten minutes later, grab the test out of the trash can and look at it under natural light to make sure there is not a very, very faint line
Step 12 - repeat the previous step multiple times during the next hour
Step 13 - remind yourself that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome
Step 14 - acknowledge that you are insane and check it just one more time
Step 15 - do it all again tomorrow

If you could not tell by now I caved this morning and stupidly wasted a test. The tragic part is that this is a pretty truthful outline for each month.

To use a positive spin, I'm still not out.

9 comments:

  1. Love your description of what most of us do each month... I've definitely done exactly that many times. FXd that it's too early and your BFP is coming in the next few days xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  2. Honestly I think there I compare super early positives airbrushed magazine models who seem to make the general populous feel like they are what is normal and the lumpy bumpy bits are not. There are people who get those early positives with HCG that seems to increase faster than the speed of light but there are an awful lot of people who don't see that positive until the day before after or on AF being due. I consider it to be the logical reason why tests general recommend waiting that long and why IVF and IUI patients have their blood tests that late.

    Anyhow, can totally identify with your outline above. Caved to it before and it just messed with my head and heart so much harder than AF arriving. For me one line on a stick was so much more insulting. But I digress, I still hold out hope for you. It ain't over until AF rains on your parade. Good luck!! Xxx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good luck! FX for good news in the next few days!!...or few hours..:) :) Sending lots of baby dust your way!

    ReplyDelete
  4. If it makes you feel any better - I do EXACTLY the same thing. Crossing my fingers for you! It ain't over till the red lady sings!

    ReplyDelete
  5. So well described... you are definitely not alone in this... I just bought a stock pile...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hahaha! I have done this too many times to remember!

    Really hoping it just too early for your 2 lines to show. xx

    ReplyDelete
  7. Too funny! Good luck to you! Babydust!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh wow, that was such a good description! I do the same things, totally! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Wow, this is so me. Especially the part about pulling the pee stick out of the trashcan for a second look! :) I am going to try my best this month to wait until my RE calls with the blood test results. I don't have a single test in the house and am going to try my best not to buy any!

    Hoping your positive comes in a few days!

    ReplyDelete