These Things

I will admit I am having trouble. My emotions are taking over and I feel like a walking time bomb. My main stressors are –

1. Late AF, it finally showed up after a 35 cycle (really? Really? I so did not need that).
2. Impatiently waiting for feedback on the promotion in our office. Like I’ve said I don’t think I got it but I still want to freaking know already.
3. Snow and ice.
4. It is February and it has been a year now. We are at a TTC one year Anniversary.

#1....
I was really heartbroken this cycle. I had symptoms and for me that felt like real ones. Normally I do not track them but this time they just stood out and I could not help it. I did not track OV because I was just trying to take it easy just one more month. In the end I was kicking myself and I think it just made it worse. (CBEFM - you and I we are going to have a heart to heart). The cramps have been bad this month and I've just had a never-ending headache.

#2....
Due to weather and people being out they still have not told us anything about the new position. I am about to freaking lose it. I am tired of waiting and wondering and could really do without the stress in this area.

(BTW I started writing this blog last week and just had to walk away to keep from getting upset so this next part is outdated now - thankfully we have sunshine now)

#3....
Ugh, the snow and the ice. First I'll say this, we have not had it near as bad as others and for that I am really grateful. However Thursday was a whole new story in the weather related arena. I live in an area where people do not know how to drive in the snow. It is a know fact and one that is often laughed about. We also tend to have weather people here that either understate things or overdo it so a lot of times we think they are just crying wolf. Thursday was a little bit of both - we are so tired of hearing about snow we just rolled our eyes at it and then the weather people did not stress the temperature drop we would have when it rolled in. Needless to say a nasty patch hit around afternoon rush hour and most everyone fell apart.
My husband and I carpooled to work so I had the car and needed to make my way to him so we could head home that afternoon. Just about the time I left a bridge was shut down for salting and the other route I could have taken started shutting down because people were skidding off the road and creating major back-ups. To shorten up this story a bit it took two hours to finally get to him and two more to get home. It was a horrible afternoon made worse by the stress I already had from a missing AF and no word on the job stuff.

and sadly point #4.....
I am having a rough time wrapping my head around the fact that we have officially been TTC for a year now. This is draining me emotionally and I just feel like my heart is heavy right now.