If My Mood Was Anymore Foul I Would Stink

CD 6

To say I’m in a bad mood right now is such an understatement it is laughable. I literately want to hiss at people if they look at me took long. Of course with today being Friday everyone is all chirpy and loud. I want to stand up so bad right now and tell everyone to shut up. I want to seriously hurt someone just to make myself feel better. I am wound up so tight right now I feel like I could break into a million pieces. I am on such a thin line between crying and screaming. Even now, while typing I’m going back and forth between angry and crying. This is just not ok. If this day does not improve I might have to ask to go home.

We have been waiting to hear the results of the last SA since Tuesday. Tuesday I called and the results were in but the nurse said the doctor was out and we had to wait. So we waited until he was back yesterday. I called yesterday morning to get the results and the nurse tells me he has not had time to look at them and that he will get to it and they will call me back that day. So I waited until almost four o’clock and call them back (mainly from fear that the closed at four) and again the answer is not yet, he has not had time. But the nurse, who btw has the personality of a ugly bug and you can hear in her voice how little she cares, says she will call back today. So we wait some more. Then at bit before five I get a call from them that hangs up as soon as I answer. Ok, so I wait another minute…..no call back, no message. Great, is that how they are going to do this? Call me back, not talk and then leave the office? I try to call back and am put on hold for nearly five minutes. The nurse sounds annoyed when she answers and tells me she called my husband and told him that the doctor had to leave early and they would have to call us in the morning. Are you freaking kidding me!?!

~Why did you call my husband when I am the one that has been calling you for the results? I honestly took that as an insult that she did not want to talk to me because I have been bothering them. And yes I do feel as though I was bothering them.

~Why, why, WHY could he not take two damn minutes to view the flipping results throughout the day, or maybe, just maybe before he left? I know it’s a urology office and most of the calls there are more than like not too urgent, but to me this one sure is. All the doctor is going to do is look at them and go “ok, you can call them now.” And the nurse will still be the one we hear from.


This morning I woke up and feel anxious and my stomach is upset. On my way into work I decide to stop at McDonalds and get a coffee drink. I do not think I would eat anything right now and maybe I can stomach just a coffee. Long story short on this part – I had a free drink coupon and the store refused it. I left with no drink and pissed off as could be. I called to ask why and the manager who denied it was hard to understand because and did not make any sense. She kept saying something about the owner and when I asked who that was her answer was Mr. MD. Yeah she said that. I would much rather her have been honest and say she could not tell me or maybe to call back later on in the day to speak to someone else. But no, the answer I got was a smart ass and just made me even madder. I called corporate and that did not get anywhere. I really did not need this kind of stupidity on top of my mood.

So now, I’m at work and waiting. I fully expect them to call my husband instead of me and I know this will upset me but I can not do anything about it. The lovely bit there is that my husband will be on the bush-hog most of the morning today and will not be able to hear his phone. So that will lead to even more waiting. The anger I have towards this is amazing and I have no where to displace these feelings. So I quietly leave the house and plan on just being quite and waiting.

I’m on the verge of crying every flipping two seconds. I just want to be alone right now and be pitiful and dwell. My hope and positivity was used up earlier this week. I actually spent most of the morning thinking about calling my doctor about considering an anti-D medication. I should be able to control these feelings more and not feel like I am about to lose it.