Thursday, June 9, 2011

pushing through

I feel as those I'm losing parts of my sanity. At one point I want to think these feelings are just so strong all at once because I keep them at bay and when I let them in they are so dark. Other times I feel like I must be bi-polar.

So days I feel like I am just doing so well and then a little dark spot will happen. I'm torn between talking to others and just keeping it to myself. Even the best of friends don't know what to say. Its just a mood killer. All anyone can says is that they are sorry. I can sometimes make an awkward joke about our situation but in the end I'm the only one laughing. Even when I try to be light hearted it doesn't work.

I'm coming out of this funk but really, how far can you really crawl out of the hole before the rain comes and you slide back down....

3 comments:

  1. (((hugs))) I know that feeling all too well.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've tried to write this comment a few times but I can't quite convey what I want. But I guess what it came down to was that this existence of extremes is universally familiar in the land of the fertility challenged and that it is important to try enjoy the high times as they present, no matter how short and fragile they may be. If pain is inevitable then losing the good to worrying about what can't be controlled is not achieving anything but a loss of the smaller balances which exist.

    You are stronger than you give yourself credit for!

    Xxx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sending love... and hoping the sun comes out soon...

    ReplyDelete